Product Review: Clif products

Everybody knows Clif bars are tasty, nutritious, packed with all the minerals, salts, and carbs you need on longer rides.  However, one thing not everybody knows is that the bar inside every package is like a toy inside the cracker-jack box relative to the value of the wrapper, kind of like like how a Hummer is much more useful for commuting than off-roading, or looking good.

Semi-intended use.

Though Clif clearly intend their products to be consumed literally, they also endorse alternative uses:

Clif will actually pay for shipping of bulk quantities of wrappers, as well as $.02/bar for use of your trash, which is an excellent deal, given their multitude of other uses. In bike shops across the U.S. you can commonly find display trays and other gimmicks made from recycled Clif wrappers.

Better uses.

Everybody has heard of a friend using a wrapper as a boot for a slashed or blown out tire in a pinch, which it does a fine job for, but there are better uses:  Clif wrappers can provide more warmth than the calories of their contents.  In a pinch, a wrapper torn in half and tucked in the front of winter booties to block the wind and keep your toesies warm.  The same method can be applied to your naughty bits on a very cold descent. Sure, its not comfortable, but you can remove it and tuck it in your friends pocket after you descend, and feeling uncomfortable is better than getting so cold they go numb.

Clif wrappers are also excellent for keeping your shit clean.  We here at Roadie Review do NOT advise cleaning up from a 3 point road stop with Clif wrappers, but they are excellent for any time you have to touch your chain and don't want to get grease all over (words of wisdom, if your gloves are black, that does NOT mean they cannot become dirty and might explain why your white handlebars are no longer white)


Clif wrappers are not better than the products these uses substitute--though I cannot say anything about the wrapper bags.  I would much prefer a new tire over a Clif boot, and I would eat a Pearson's salted nut roll before any Clif bar.  But, every $2 bar is essentially a disposable multi-tool, and because each package has so many uses, it earns some respect in our teams eyes.

Pros:
Cheap, if not free.
Versatile
Disposable

Cons:
Contents not as tasty as a salted nut roll

5/5 Salted Nut Rolls